12/28

already reading Writing and Difference — not really comprehending
on my writing which is slipping away (to slip — I like this concept) — toward my death — ending — (how do I write this) (?)
the idea of system and growth — I keep writing and rewriting as my ideas change but never publish — thus my ideas as they were become lost — but is this desirable — is the final state (at least before senility) the important one — the result of the knowledge quest etc — thus all should be written at the moment of death and death should be at the right moment — ideals