6/28

reading Miller and Durrell — A Smile in the Mind’s Eye

realizing that I don’t want to escape my depression
what do I want — my studio ideas — space for large works

expand — compress

fill everything with my garbage
bits and pieces stuck together in an ever expanding conglomeration

art of abundance
art of destruction
art of the destroyed

I recall the smiling face of a young priest — the most disgusting feeling — this I don’t want
supreme in my hatred for this smug grin
my dislike for so much of what Durrell and Miller (& Nin) like