5/19

back in Plattsburgh

an immediate depression in dealing with cleaning out the apartment
all the papers that should simply be discarded
all the junk that should be thrown away

but I can’t do it

the trees are filling out rapidly
the dog in the yard — a wet day after a beautiful mostly sunny day — the bright cloudiness of a late spring rainy day — the sound of the rain — cars on wet pavement — a crow

trying to get myself some forward momentum — but if I reject all life styles? — what does it mean to reject or choose a ‘life’ ‘style’ — a life — a style of living —

what I do today — what I do from day to day

masturbation urge — flashes of New York life — what is ‘life’ in New York — so many people so many styles — but that’s all there is — people centers — the ‘world’ outside of that — how do I define out

the pages that I’m using could have some relationship to music
as found — a sound
scale reset — pulse pulse pulse

mapping

dead meat — a New York flash of hides — meat packing district gallery
meat flesh flashes of flesh

the mostly covered bodies in New York where bare legs stand out

does everything come back to a set of notes — is that all there is methodologies — I’m using a large notebook which is hard to carry around

the other notebook — I used different pages for different types of notes but it seems that the best thing to do would be to make a straight sequence and then rearrange them — or just index them later