4/19_p2

a breeze of heat — I need to get the lawn mower running — I need to systematize what has to be done — make blocks for each thing

work on resumé
work on yard and house
art work
music
make a project folder and systematically work on each thing

art — make some drawings for grid pieces and then go through material — decide on some fastening system — maybe the screws could be a part of the work — need something to hold them to the wall — from the wall and together — possibly just use pieces of pine for now — what kind of screw or bolt could I use — maybe make a hole pattern as part of the grid — a 5” square in the 8” pieces with another set to hold the cross pieces

the idea of changing — changeable elements — display — some set of drawers with a display stand

as usual today is not going well as far as getting things done — maybe I should just get a shit job and live with it — what is happiness — pleasure — what is an ideal job — how do I get through these binds — how do I force myself — to go on—

played a little with PhotoShop — that would be ideal for me give myself until the end of April — just keep at it — is this a part of it — scan my life — think about the future — all the things I don’t want to do — there is no ideal job for me but there are a lot of things I don’t mind doing

I need to get myself organized — but I can’t should I apply for a couple of jobs now — ? should I wait — what about the graphic work I should be doing now — I need to do some actual production work with Photoshop to understand image size etc — try to integrate my programs — do something I like — drawing etc — do some scans and some work in Canvas — line elements

a black bird — mockingbird — the sun is getting intense — a nice breeze — feelings — its so beautiful here — an ideal life really — so why can’t I just get moving — I wonder if there is a place for a rough art in Austin or if it all has to be elegant and refined