4/23

a terrible day yesterday — looks like today may be worse — no desire — no orientation — I’m moving too slowly — hesitation

try to visualize something positive — a page layout — get that done — get the resume done — get something done — anything — a feeling of complete inertia — that’s the term — how do I get some forward momentum— maybe after I get a resume printed I’ll be able to force myself into motion — maybe just getting out and trying to find a job will pick up its own momentum — if I don’t get too discouraged — what is the problem now — is it fear of failure — or just that I don’t have the tools and background for a job search

this is supposed to be a transition

from what — to what — where is here where was there

visualize verbalize — video audio — all these things I’m not doing

an art that is aside
I’m not getting down my ideas — thousands of fragments
lost in thousands of pages of notes

get a job and make art as a hobby — see Acker essay on copyright — but there is something wrong with the view that art should be supported — art should be communication — communication is not universal — that is a mistaken notion a book for all and for none — not really — a book for a few

birds and butterflies
an art of process — modules fragments images — I should spend more time listening to music and watching videos — I scanned a couple of circuit boards yesterday — there is so much material