8/11

blogging etc —
large scale theories are always too late —
constant flow of raw ideas and developments – music art etc —

8/12

some days are dead days and should just be written off – maybe I’ll wake up early tomorrow and look at the meteors —

8/13

feeling very discouraged — all the things that are going on and I feel totally out of the loop — can I do my own thing in a vacuum or should I just get out of the scene all together and collect stones and things — leave some notebooks when I die to whoever might want them or to the trash

the feeling that I should just retire – give up all the writing and art shit aimed at anything outside of this house and – what — just listen to the CDs I already have

need to think things through here —
I should get my web site up and get some thoughts out – do some reviews etc

I need to relax
I need to exercise
I need to do some sort of meditation thinking

what do I have to offer here
what do I want
trying to keep from getting annoyed at the pets who seem to need attention when I’m getting depressed – maybe they’re just trying to help — Phoebe providing a little comfort by being a lap cat