7/25

very confused about what video program to buy
difficult decisions

i look at video clips and think that video is what i want to do but when i confront the computer i don’t want to
i can’t get myself into doing assemblages etc
<i’m> not very good with my hands
<i> don’t particularly want to do that type of work

what about photography and writing
making the collection the art form and content

i still can’t decide what i want to do
do i want to do a web site

why
socialize

do i want to socialize
do i want to get my opinions published

in a way it’s a power thing — but i’ll never have the (whatever it takes) to market anything —


are the video ideas i have worth bothering with
is any of my art
should i just do things like go out to dinner — look at art from time to time ——
and reconcile myself to the fact that i’m not an artist and never have been

the problem is that i keep thinking in terms of accomplishing something for something
learning japanese — for what
making art — what for

there is some drive to do something that is notable to find some ‘field’ of operations — assemblage doesn’t seem like it would do it i’m not sure about writing

maybe i should just stick with that and associated things like indesign and photoshop

still life
no motion

graphics