9/13

i am out of touch with everyone — there is no reason to keep doing things — just some sort of momentum — it’s difficult for things to stop once they’re moving — life space is a vacuum and there’s nothing to stop movement —
i don’t need a reason to go on although i don’t want to — i need a reason to stop —

AUTOBIO — to make some sort of self portrait by writing about things as i do them — sorting things — today i was trying to pick up shells — clean off a work table for photographing

making an ASSEMBLAGE OR COLLAGE and documenting the process —
is it better to make fewer works but make them complete —
make a list of subjects —

COLLECTIONS — document photo write about types of collecting — emotional attachment & feelings — dead thing inert things — the constant feeling of death — sea shells bones fossils feathers —
things that grow things that deteriorate —

too much coffee too much to eat —
depression — death should be easy

PAPER WORK — cut papers to photograph size — fill all the albums

WRITING hours every day — write and work —

PAINTING — large digital works — made by expanding or juxtaposing photos using layers and other techniques of selection and coloring

I WANT TO DO NOTHING
I WANT TO AVOID EVERYTHING
AT WHAT POINT DO I BREAK DOWN & THROW EVERYTHING AWAY