8/29

thunder — should have expected a storm with the heavy fall heat — feel the wind come up now

E. Weston — the beauty of these photos — want to take some black-and-white photos of the rocks down at the lake — also my own rocks — those I have collected — seems each should have a special place — place each grain of sand in a sand garden

how much of my book would have to be hidden — a lie
can I write now
should I try
should I put on a record

big spiral snail is dead — crushed the shell trying to get it out of the aquarium — so fragile they are — it seems as soon as they die they become fragile

why do people build houses like this — looking out into each other to see and be seen — such perversions they are

Subotnick ‘Until Spring’
<i> can’t write

can I actually begin a book
now? why not?
tried to begin — can’t this is not the consciousness to write in — only one of many not one to begin with — LSD etc must be hidden — must it? — my job etc — damn it all? — do i dare to challenge —
do i want to fight or do i want to get ahead?
should I write all and then purge myself

can I? do I dare?

a fundamental question