12/29

worked on some music yesterday — made a tape with Kim that has some pretty good stuff on it so I feel more confident with playing around with things

<i> need to get some writing done
<i> need to use the time at work better

12/30

<i> need to start organizing things
I should be working on something — or maybe I should just give up the idea of working on anything — just listen to music (‘The Glass World’) interesting exploration of sounds — so many things that can be done

thoughts of dying
thoughts of some new world with video surround etc
thinking of pornography - I should put on some video and jerk off


my back aches

a spot on my forehead — AIDS and metaphors

so I jerk off and hang around doing nothing — why not just do some audio work
don’t know — why not move some stuff around or do some art work

dec 1997
12/97-13
8/18/20 — make some sub-texts by going through the notes and picking out lines like “i need to start organizing things” with dates — the labyrinth of absurdity — the ‘fun house’ — lost in infinity — the eternal recurrence of nothingness - emptiness
repetitions