3/20

SHAME
it begins here and now — the first day of spring
I had a good beginning as I was going to sleep last night but I can’t seem to get it right now
9:53 AM
a bright sunny day — cold     30°

it begins here and perhaps goes nowhere

what is ‘it’

what has to be escaped is my ‘desire’ — (no it’s not a desire) — my ‘need’ (no it’s not a need) — what is it
I have a tendency to want to keep all of the writing with dates etc — to rewrite but to keep all the beginning drafts etc — rather than to rework passages into some sort of final form for example to rewrite this paragraph but to keep it as it is — now
I have a tendency to not want to get rid of anything
for example to make a note on where to insert something on Passing Time but to keep the note rather than simply making the entry and getting rid of the note — even though the note becomes totally meaningless in the final context

retentiveness

note something on Butor passages indicated last night — note passage on the labyrinth

insert Butor quote on using typefaces somewhere

make use of my obsessions etc

get them out and on paper
face what

anal retentiveness — face my own ass — twisted into some Möbius twist
an Ouroboros with a twist

gather together some passages on labyrinths