10/24

how do i go about tracking time
spent first time of day looking at internet — is there anything there worth that time
again — a question i’ve asked myself for years

what is wasting time

what do i want to do at this point

do i want to give up all ideas of art and just live

what does it mean to just live

do i want to share what i know or thing with anyone

yesterday i thought about doing some video of the grass blowing in the wind but didn’t do it
i saw the grass — it was very beautiful — why video
video for movement or whatever to use in video work —

but is the ‘work’ a waste of time

couldn’t i just go out and look at something else in the time i would take to video the field and use the video

it seems like everything i read or do has to be ‘for something’ — an attitude that i’ve never really liked

so i sit here and write this note

i can totally give up the idea of doing large art
should i give up all art
just do things instead of doing them for another thing

do i want to interact with flickr and put some images on the web
i don’t want to do myspace or facebook — so why think it’s necessary

do i want to do my own web site
is interaction with others what i want
would i be better off - happier - if i just decided that i should resign myself to being one of the vast majority of people who have no historical presence — not one of the few artists who are remembered

and how many of the ones that are known will be known later