6/4

can i keep busy — i didn’t sleep well last night
kept waking up from dreams — in one we had an apartment or something and there were people playing music in the apartment above — we were concerned that they would bother us - keep us awake — at one point there was a large group in lobby or whatever — at times the place seemed to be our house at others it was an apartment building — they were getting ready to go upstairs and do some music thing — i talked to one about music equipment a little — one girl was sitting with some others on a bench — she was blond and of ambiguous beauty — she said hello to me and it turned out she was a he when s/he faced me — then a female again — ambiguous sexuality — ambiguous beauty — i thought she looked nice — i only saw her in profile except the one time she faced me and was male — his/her name was morgan —
the name stands out — morgan
at one point gamelan was mentioned — the person i was talking to said they were going to do something gamelan like and i thought that we wouldn’t be disturbed by that type of music

morgan
organ
music
gamelan
orchestra
organization

the name morgan seems important
fata morgana — morgan la fey — came to mind when i woke up
lady of the lake

1. most of what i write will be unreadable

a. i should start with something readable — preface / explanation

2. if i don’t write anything no one will read it

b. this is no different from writing something unreadable

if i am a writer i have no alternative