9/9

constant ambiguity
no resolution
no sequence

NEXUS 1 — TSCHUMI
NEXUS 2 — ROUBAUD

what —
project

it’s not a book because i will never end it — close it —
all of my notes can be considered part of it — or most can be left out and only what i choose (to rewrite) can be considered part of it —

begin in obscurity —
there is no ‘good’ place to begin —
——

what i want to do is write — i need to put aside all other art for now — but can i —
does the writing require added visual elements —
listening to cage concert yesterday the idea of music came back — it always does when i listen to music i can conceive of making — cage — electronic rock — as opposed to classical or classic rock

——
a digital project — an anti book —
——
NEXUS SAID
ROBBE-GRILLET
EISENMAN

even if i were dying & knew it — i might still not be able to concentrate on finishing the house — should i be living as if i were dying — and if so what should i do — try to organize my writings? — i should finish the house but i don’t think i’d be able to — i should live like i don’t have long to & use the days i have — note the enjoyment of what i have to do — like walking the dogs or cleaning the house — yard work

haven’t been keeping notes — kim’s right that i obsess about things — about delilah — about my health — which i might be ruining by being like i am — are my symptoms all psycho somatic —

rapid mood swings —
my hands shake —

i’m happy — but not
something missing — cf 'vicky christina barcelona'

it’s not a book because i will never end it

it has no beginning
it will have no ending