notebooks page

9/10

do i live like i’m going to live or like i’m going to die

things i don’t have time to do —
listen to all the music i want to — but i don’t listen enough — there are a lot times i could be playing music and don’t — i don’t like to listen to background music very often — when i listen to something i want to just sit or lie down and listen

i could be working on some photoshop work
i could be copying notes — but i can do things like that while copying CDs
i could also see if i can copy some slides while working with writing

subject CDs
buying them for the covers — kk null
but i like his music — but now i’m on a totally restricted budget
extremely ‘busy’ fine lined drawings 0.0004 & GeV

9/11

writing — daily writing — a blog about writing and art —
i can’t just sit down & write something — i think if i could do that — daily or about daily — that the rest would start flowing from there —
——
i think i need to concentrate on writing but i also want a broader range art — visual art — video etc
——
if i could just sit & work with photoshop or illustrator for a half hour or hour — daily or almost every day —

varied moods — agitated by trying to give delilah her pills —
feeling of resentment —
positives — the sound of an owl

delilah is getting better

i have time — i don’t use it

from notebook to notebook —
tonight a feeling of hatred — for my entire life — for everyone i love —
who is to blame
do i want to die — sometimes it seems that would be the best — then it doesn’t matter —