6/30

a dream with delilah in it — i had noted her death yesterday
another dream i was trying to write something about wishing i were like duchamp — but i couldn’t write the sentence — kept losing the idea and crossing things out — i was writing with pencil and noted it i should have an eraser — something about having all the piddling i’ve done for years have amounted to something like the large glass —

a belly ache again today — too many nuts etc — nervousness about travel
i weigh 152 which isn’t bad — i should be able to get below 150 by vacation time (measure everything)

<8/12/20 i weigh over 160 which is absurd — i have lost my self control>

<9/28/21 now nearly 170 and i can’t control my eating — i have a couple of good days and then i start eating little bits all day and gain the weight back>

<10/5/22 and still the same — there is no change>

I feel like working outside although i’ll get totally sweat covered — high humidity and hot

moved some stones — not as bad as i anticipated — visual migraine

copied a lot of music — couldn’t figure out itunes so i just used the old library

headache all day — a slight nausea — odd feeling in my chest

awake late — an itchy area on my leg has me worried — so many things get me worried about cancer — unlikely it’s melanoma — what about other internal things — but this area is red like a scratch —
i want to see a dr now but it’s a holiday weekend — so i’ll wait —

it’s almost midnight — i should go to bed or sleep on the couch —