4/10

looking at photos — i was going to try to figure out how to organize them better but i got involved in just looking — as usually happens

things not organized neatly
disorder

examples of photo crops — take one image and make a series of crops
make ‘narratives’ about some of the pictures — deconstructing objects

art — thinking of assemblages — i’ll spend the rest of my life thinking about things i won’t do
the machine part paintings i did — a painted grid with objects — circuit boards — saw blades etc — but then i come back to thinking why bother — just photograph them and arrange them

looking at photos of things on black platters — idea — photograph one from yesterday that had food on it — vegetable remnants

i need to bring damian to the vet so i may need to get kim up — there is not enough time

photos — i need to make some compressed versions so i can put them on CD for stella — just use batch process to do them all

damian has an eye injury — these things make me sick —
i need to get together —
things happen — we take whatever action we can — enjoy what’s good — damian’s been having a good life — many people and pets have problems and injuries —
photo — think about things like that — a pet album — the pain of all the deaths — but having the privilege of being with them is worth it — whatever it is — too much love — too much hatred — i’ve been lucky — to live when and where i have (but elsewhere i wouldn’t be ‘me’ — this existence would not have been — time paradoxes —
i want to live i want to die —just get ‘it’ over with — whatever ‘it’ is — paradoxes —

i should meditate