8/8

PUNCTUATION — i don’t usually like new words & acronyms — but i like markup — i don’t like most punctuation — i almost never use an exclamation point — i don’t exclaim — my voice is monotonous (inner and outer) — (WRITE on the LV text — removing the emotional overtones — the content — the connotations)
but — i want to do something beautiful — i feel incapable and that bothers me — a feeling of being close but not reaching — a feeling of failure — (i’m not sure if i’m at the door without a key or if i have a key and can’t find the right door — (but my hand is empty and i don’t see a door) (photo locks and keys — keep bringing reality into the text — reality is what i have)) (what are the words from ‘sisters of mercy’ — “get real - get (what?)” — “another” what ))

all the beautiful music — i ordered 2 kalidea CDs (buying from amazon) this morning van morrison came to mind and rolling stones (‘just a shout away’ — came to mind & ‘just a shadow of’ —

SUBLIMATE — EVAPORATE — MELT
FREEZE SOLIDIFY
LIQUID DAZE — HAZE COLLOID
SUSPENSION
SUSPEND HOLD OFF VAPORIZE
END ON INTO

DESTROY ETERNITY
DESTINY INFINITY
EMPTINESS
DECOMPOSE
RECOMPOSE

WE’LL NEVER REACH THE STARS

<9/9/21 we’ll never reach the start>

i’ll die soon — become nothing — decompose —
what’s the difference between all life ending and one person dying — for that one person - no difference — i won’t know if the music goes on — i won’t know if everything ends — or just me nothing will always exist — the void at the core of existence — god

the vast[ness of] emptiness