10/4 p4

yesterday i ate too much — today i should eat less — but why — what difference does it make if i’m overweight
- you live longer — but i don’t want to live longer — living and dying are both suffering but dying reduces the time span of the suffering —
- you look better — but what difference does it make — who do i want to be attractive to — at 72 years old — one is not attractive — i never have been
- you feel better [about your self] — how much better
- eating is disgusting and repulsive — think about what i look like eating — that should make me eat less

being less repulsive — maybe that should be a goal (don’t think in terms of ‘the’ goal — many goals)

DAY DREAMS of success — making objects and having them displayed in an art gallery — large modular components — open work structure - or panels - or trays

? what to do with the black envelopes i found somewhere — ? put an artwork in each — they are flat so they would only hold a few sheets of paper —

IDEA — make a database of IDEAS & MATERIALS —

(so many ideas ( make some examples so others can use the ideas))

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looks like the rain is out of the forecast — maybe i can do some sawing today — work on the gardens if it’s not too sunny —
5:43 — should i listen to music —

can’t sleep — inside hurt — krissy’s insides are churning — so chu churned the sea