10/24
i can’t think of anything i can do that’s worth doing —
who or what am i writing for —
what can i do with the objects i’ve collected —
what is life good for — fossils & ruins
what is art good for - music
voices — in the wind in the mind
fragments — deterioration decay rot
my head itches my jaw hurts — deterioration of the body — {it / i} grow[s] weaker —
muck not dust
mud — shit
things ‘grow’ [c]old
things get [c]old
grow - shrink — think — about death —
——
the demons of obscurity and failure —
dust in the wind
eddies - currents —
dust in the mind
spirals
10/25
as i look back over my notes it seems that every year has been wasted — nearly every day a waste [of what]
what is being wasted
i had some ideas this morning while sorting some stones — lost —
thinking i should start ‘publishing’ things — art - writing etc
publish some pages of these notes before they’re finished — maybe the entire thing could be put into web format as i go along
kris not doing well — probably getting close to that time —
life — death —