10/27

early AM thunderstorm — computers off — wind & rain

PROJECT — LOOK AT THINGS — THROUGH THE LENS — take any visually interesting object & photograph it close-up and macro — make a portfolio of these —

DEPRESSION - ANXIETY — thinking about krissy — second thinking the vet — why did she want to stop one of krissy’s meds — i don’t like dealing with doctors or hospitals —
i don’t like dealing with the financial aspect —
PROJECT — (i should try to keep my mind on art ideas etc — but i think about feeding the dogs — trying to feed krissy etc etc etc) — sculpture using concrete - for the yard —

PROJECT — use the large computer rack for assemblages — some changeable modular things —

for some reason i started thinking about postcards & stamps — these small papers that no one uses any more — they make interesting collections but how many people still collect things — digital collections — pinterest is a sort of digital collection —
images vs objects — stampworld —
take small papers like postage stamps — enlarge them and overlay them with other images — infinite combinations (losing words — i had to hesitate to think of the word ‘combination’)
infinite combinations of 2 images using photoshop filters —

DEPRESSION — the dogs — too much — there should be some way to opt out —
social collapse — hatred will win out — love is an abberation —
cioran — an anti-essay — fragments of depression and dislike — disgust—

SUFFERING — krissy has problems — but i’m suffering too — mind or body — one is as bad as the other

ABULIA —
it’s almost time to feed the dogs — i’ll need to make decisions — difficult to make decisions but i don’t trust anyone else’s decisions
thunderstorm — wind and rain — thunder
the sound of krissy’s digestive system —
the only escape from suffering is to die — to escape [from] life