8/20

whatever
is it necessary to date?    desirable?
was thinking (as usual) — was thinking about D. H. Lawrence and <?> and myself as Southern basically — or am I a mixture
thinking of myself as southerner in the North — is that what I want deep down — the quest of the sea — very Freudian I suppose — the south the warm the sea — the north? — Kim definitely northern — we meet somewhere
America the old North and South no longer exist — how long were my father’s ancestors in Italy — and where my mother’s? — southern France — northern probably — mountainous anyway — my mother’s side much more in the mountains — in the cold — need the warmth of my father’s blood — in the north
do I long for the south
ultimately the call of my father’s blood — the call of death — the ever dying that is life

father      death
mother    life

my father’s blood is the Mediterranean — the sea of the mother
my mother’s blood is the mountains the father

<8/15/91 a lot of oriental music I was listening to at the time — the different cycles of music — things that I haven’t listened to for a long time — what do I want to listen to now — was trying to think of something to play — Glass perhaps — the idea I’ve had from time to time of just listening to one composer or one type of music throughout a period of writing — decided on Toyah — “Ophelia’s Shadow”>
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