4/3

I need directed goals at home — I started copying notes — that’s a good project

thunder this morning so I haven’t turned on the computer — the question of getting a new computer — hobby stuff becomes a possibility again

started watching some abstract cinema — 'Dog Star Man' and 'The Dream Machine' — don’t remember the Brakhage being so beautiful — some intensely nice stuff in 'The Dream Machine'

thinking of things like that
thinking of an amateur art

material ideas cycling
haven’t been thinking much about music
‘situation’ is a word that’s coming up a lot in my notes

reading a little from Open Sky — Pynchon — Acker essays I started and haven’t finished — Delillo started and taken by Kim and I never got back into it — what else has been put aside

6:41 AM — what should I do — what really — do I want to do — where can these notes go — should — what is they — is there any possibility of my (me) getting out of the notes and writing something other than these notes — (a feeling of being trapped or whatever — labyrinth — seems like I should be able to get out — but I wind up back — is it where I began

where is where
who is what
what am I

starting over and over — “OK now I’ll do it — finally” — an odd word —’finally’ — with some air of an ending