yesterday evening
another emotional breakdown — i have no life outside of kim and the dogs — i don’t know why i keep trying

it seems that things should be easy — things are difficult — i don’t like responding to things — i don’t like having to do things —

think about buying things — what CDs and DVDs — ?carlos saura — watch 'goya' first
buying things to support the artists — buying CDs instead of artwork — how much do we enjoy art — look at the randall reid — art as inspiration for art
redo pinterest boards — make them more practical

what to do with / about lynda lessons — i want to learn too many things — there is time i don’t use it — i don’t use things — i have too many things — too many things that i don’t use — not enough time but i don’t use what i have
——
plumbing problem still exists — another day spent waiting and wondering — the problem of getting the dogs out etc — totally tiresome —
depression — life should not exist

more expenses — i should make a total austerity budget — i don’t need more CDs or DVDs —
there is too much to listen to and i’m not responsible for supporting artists — it’s like fighting an addiction — addicted to buying things — addicted to owning more and more things

i’ll need to shit in the camping bucket toilet — life is disgusting — shit and death

i think i won’t buy anything else then see that there is only one epica album i don’t have — some desire for completeness that i need to get rid of

make a journal ?
prefab forms don’t fit — the best would be free style but what medium — paper ?
or this software
some combination — export pages to some image files or something

use paper and computer through the day and then combine them into an image & pdf file

be aware of what i do make sure the to do list is looked at several times

mood
depressed — anti-life
anti everything

did
called plumbers
filled out a form
did some digging in the yard — cleared area for new rock garden but now i’m worried that the dogs will injure themselves if they run in the turned over ground