8/19

life setbacks — things that make one think — my nephew died this morning — substance use victim — the world is turning to shit very rapidly —

8/20

up too early — feeling of vagueness — emptiness or fullness — filled with the wrong things — stuffed — filled with nothingness filled with emptiness — the void is inside — something to avoid —

watched 'toby dammit' yesterday — was very disappointed — didn’t like stamp’s acting at all — there were a few good things — but being between 'juliet...' and 'satyricon' i expected much better —

<9/9/21 watched director’s notebook a couple of days later and found it even worse - didn’t finish — both of us turned off by the slaughterhouse>

time goes by months go by — i don’t keep track of things — i lose track of things (track trash thrash)

perspective shifts — seeing things differently — i didn’t remember ‘8 1/2’ being so self referential — i thought i had seen ‘juliet of the spirits’ but remember nothing so i probably didn’t see it — usually i remember at least one scene from a movie no matter how long ago i saw it —

listening saariaho ‘du cristal’ — good moody music — i feel like just listening to walk in darkness but i need to get into other things

is there an ahead to plan for — there is nothing waiting — nothing to wait — the universe doesn’t wait —
what am i waiting for — plumbers — i don’t like waiting
trees in the wind — reflected on a hard drive — black mirrors — nightwish — what do i wish for